O my my

There are so many things that I don't understand right now; there are so many things I want to change.
I'm nowhere near perfect, but come on...
It seems to me, especially lately, that no one has any amount of self-respect anymore.
What in the world causes people to partake in actions and events that they know will not end well?
Yeah, yeah, I know: peer pressure, lack of good influence from parents, yada yada yada.
But what is it really?
Soo many teenage girls are getting pregnant.
Sooo many teenagers have an STD [or two or three or 20].
Sooooo many teenagers do drugs, then wonder why their life stinks because they don't meet the physical/intellectual requirements of their dream job.
Sooooooo many teenage guys treat girls like trash. Chivalry is dead.
But, Soooooooo many girls dress like trash, and wonder why they get treated like it.
Sooooooooooo many teenagers sleep around just because they can....
[Ughhh! That one ^ really drives me crazyyyy.
I just don't understand the logic behind it.]

I am an individual who wants to make an impact on the lives of everyone I meet.
And maybe, this is my way of doing just that.
I live morally.
Not because I have to; I want to.
Yes, I mess up and make a terrible decision or two, [or a bagillion]
I'm only human.
But I do make a conscience effort to live my life healthily and responsibly.
And all the while, I have a splendiferous time!
And yes, it is most definitely possible.
You just got through reading about a perfect example.



"I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down
tired of myself, tired of this town"

-Tom Petty

It shouldn't matter

I find myself at a loss.
It should not matter, but I can't help but feel this way.
I haven't ever had the opportunity to feel what it's like; i don't know what it's like to have someone there. Used. That's all I feel. Funny, because I really cared about him. And as cliche as it may sound, why me? Why did it happen to me? I let my guard down, becoming vulnerable to..."his kind." And wow was I vulnerable! No, i didn't sleep with him, and no, I didn't do anything I regret. I did move on. But to what? That's just it. Nothing. And it seems as though it will be that for a long while. And I shouldn't care. But I do.

So what am I really? A good idea. A moment of fun. Not worth the commitment. One who won't give in to "it." Yeah. That is me. So just stop it. I am wasting my time, and you are wasting your's. I'm through. I am through.



"Make yourself necessary to somebody"
-Emerson